I settled down nicely with the Young’s as I had stayed with them previously the week before I went to Clarendon’s hostel in March. John and Janet have known each other since they were 19 and 21 and have been married for 39 years. John is a native to South Africa while Janet is originally from England although she’s lived in South Africa for all of her adult life. They live in a house in Gonubie that is three hundred meters from the Indian Ocean. They often spot dolphins and whales in addition to passing ships. I can say from living with them that the view is truly breathtaking and it will be something I’ll miss when I go back home. They have two grown kids, Nicholas and Michael who now have their own families. John and Janet are proud Grandparents to two adorable grandchildren from Nicholas and his wife Sheree called Amra Fae (aged 3 and half) and Byrce (22 months). They are expecting a third grandchild in October who will be Michael’s first child with his wife Cindy. I’ve really enjoyed meeting many of the Rotarians families and extended families this year. All of the grandchildren and children have been lovely and very welcoming to me and so patiently accepted me into their “family.”
The Youngs: John and Janet aka Mom and Dad Young!
May passed so fast and fairly quietly until the last two weeks which were packed. John, Janet, and I (their surrogate daughter) went about our business as usual. I would come home and ride the stationary bicycle for 30-40 minutes and then do homework. In the evenings we would all watch the news and then Law and Order followed by House (which I’ve become ADDICTED to). On weekends Janet and I often bake muffins while John does his ‘guy stuff’ with his buddies i.e. flying model airplanes. On Sundays we’ve hiked on the beach and or eaten brunch at a restaurant overlooking the ocean. I remember talking to my Mom and she remarked “You sound so relaxed!” and that is true. I AM very relaxed and very happy doing what I have this year in South Africa. I think I’ve loosened up a lot this year and I want to keep being happy (no JUBLIANT!) and relaxed as I return home. (I don’t want to rush around or feel that I’m in a rat race. Please help me to keep my new found positive attitude—encouragement is gladly accepted!)
The next week was ALL about the dance on Saturday May 23rd. No girl was even paying attention in the majority of lessons at school. I was so excited and on Wednesday my date arrived, Carl, a fellow American exchange student living in Northern South Africa in a town called Klerksdorp (very Afrikaans). So we anxiously awaited the dance and it came finally after months of buildup and anticipation. Janet helped me into my blue dress and walk in my very tall (hehe stripper shoes) heels. Earlier that day my nails and toe nails had been decked out in French manicure and my hair freshly trimmed and left loosely waved at the sides, I decided for a simple hairstyle as my dress was so beautiful. Some of the other Rotarians came to the house to watch us get into our car and drive to the dance while the phone rang off the hook ALL day with well wishes for the big night. Carl remarked “it’s like a flipping wedding; I mean I haven’t seen you all day!” So John and Janet drove us to the gates of Selborne College (Clarendon’s brother school) where the dance was held in their great Hall. We got out of the car and (I’m not joking) walked the Red carpet while at least hundred people flashed their cameras in our eyes and we WALKED in. At the door my Headmaster and Deputy Head Principal, Mr. Nel and Ms. Rose greeted us and we walked through Selborne’s gardens past the other faculty of the school. Our theme was the expected The Great Gatsby and the Matric Dance committee made up of Clarendon grade 11 pupils were dressed in 1920s fashion and waited on us all. The décor was lovely with lots of Little Italy lights and soft pale green and white gauze fabrics creating the smoky atmosphere of the 20s without the smoke. My friends looked amazing and everywhere I looked some girl looked like a Princess, it was very wonderful. As our Head girl said “You ladies dressed for the Oscars!” and they did and this South African Prom was really great— a very special memory for me.
Letter #9
It’s hard for me to think of what to say about my final four weeks in South Africa—they were jam packed. First of all, I struggled through Clarendon’s dreaded mid year examinations. I thought I was going to go insane as I wrote the history paper which took 5 hours and consisted of practically all short answer and essay questions. Needless to say I flew through the other exams and even thought I did okay on the biology—which I found difficult. When I had only my drama performance left to do—I had some other exchange student visitors for the weekend. Amalie from Denmark, Anna from Holland, and Louise from Belgium all came to visit John and Janet and I. Amalie arrived first and she was my moral support through my drama practical exam which consisted of a piece of absurd theater written by me, then a linking device (i.e. I sang Lennon’s Imagine) and a South African piece (I performed an excerpt from
Country of my Scull by Antjie Krog). I obviously (LOL) aced that exam.
Amalie and I..
So four teenage girls filled John and Janet’s house with lots of noise in the weekend and we got up to lots of antics which I will not disclose in this letter. Also it was the last time we’d see each other in South Africa—although I did see Amalie and Anna again before they left. So the dreaded Sunday arrived and I had to say goodbye to Amalie who has been the exchange student I’ve been closest with in SA. She is my other half and we’ve grown so much together especially during our trip to Johannesburg in November. She is very blonde and Danish and it seems that opposites attract as we are very different in looks and behavior. She wants to be a politician yet understand the artistic side of life as she is an amazing visual artist. We both discovered that we love House and you should have heard us cackling as we watched it and of course slobbering over Hugh Laurie. Janet said ‘Have you two gone stark raving mad?’LOL. Anyway, I’m babbling on about her because it was so hard to leave her. I cried and cried and cried and because I’ve been so happy in SA it was strange to cry so much. Janet held me as I cried and waved goodbye to my other half—seriously my heart felt like it was being ripped out. Then we both went through the stages of grief—you know—denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. Another exchange student called Lukas (from Germany) who has been living in East London too—that Sunday invited all of us to go to the opening rugby game in the new Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium in Port Elizabeth. So there I went into anger as I didn’t want to see Amalie again as I didn’t want to go through the pain of saying goodbye—but as she pointed out we bargained and got our rugby ticket seats together. The thinking went something like ‘maybe if she comes to PE one more time I can move on with my life!’ I felt empty for the rest of that Sunday and could barely sleep into Monday. Also John and Janet had departed for the UK not to return two days before my departure home.
* * * *
That Friday also marked my final meeting for the Rotary Club of East London and I presented Ms. Felton (my English teacher at Clarendon) with a vocational service award that I had motivated myself (meaning I wrote WHY I thought she deserved it and had to get board approval) and which she had no clue about it. Ms. Felton has been the best teacher I’ve ever had in school. Just think I had her by fate in Africa! I felt I needed to do something for her before I left SA because she had done so much for me. She gave me this voice in writing that I never knew I had by encouraging my poetry writing. The only way I can describe her is by planting the image in your head of the teacher in Dead Poet’s Society who transforms his pupils by getting them to think and examine things for themselves. Ms. Felton has had that affect on me. She has gotten me to see things in different ways and from a different perspective from my own or people around me. She has taught me to be passionate about the environment and world causes (ex: human trafficking, hunger, human rights’ abuses, women’s rights’ and animal rights’ among many others). In addition she has taught me RESPECT for literature and delving beneath the surface (not saying I didn’t possess those qualities before but she brought them to the surface for me) and given me strength to fight for things I care about as my life progresses. And for this I am truly grateful. So I presented her with her award complete with gilded frame in the front of my whole Rotary Club and it was her turn to cry, which she did and I almost did. Again, another moment I won’t forget.
This brings me to my last weekend in South Africa and my departure on Wednesday the 1st of July 2009. I spent my last weekend at Kidd’s Beach and with my ‘family’ there where we journeyed to Hogsback (the mystical highland village that is rumored to have been the place that inspired J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Again I could go on all day about how fantastic my visit to Hogsback was but I won’t now as this letter is very long. But I had a terrific last weekend and on Monday the Young’s’ (John and Janet) returned to SA and we began to pack all of my stuff for the trip HOME.
So on July 1st I departed East London Regional Airport bound for Johannesburg and then home to my parents and all of YOU. Most of the Rotary Club saw me off and I remained strong until the last moment when I just cried (AGAIN, I know). So I wrenched myself from my beloved adopted country and away from the place where I feel I’ve grown the most in my short 18 years on planet Earth. All I can say is that it has been an extraordinary year and that I’ve become a transformed and better person than the sorry little girl that left. My heart now beats on two continents and that is something irreplaceable. I will forever remember the colors, the smells, the sights, and people of Africa.
Signing off,
Roxana Bell
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